Dear Mobile Phone,
We’ve known each other for about three months now, and I think it’s safe to say that we’re pretty good friends. You connect me to people, remind me I have things to do, and you even finish my sentences for me.
But there’s something you really ought to realize by now: I almost never use the word “duck” in my day-to-day conversations. More often than not (actually, let’s just say “all the time”), when I’m SMSing or writing an email, and I press 4-3-7-6 I’m typing something entirely different.
You’ve consistently failed to pick up on this, though, and it results in the loss of precious seconds as I furrow my brow and briefly consider finding out what it would sound like if you hit the nearby wall at an impressive velocity.
So, please, if you’re thinking of getting me anything for Christmas, just rewrite that small bit of your program that keeps ducking everything up.