Our dumb online atlas

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The Onion‘s more or less accurate take on a few select countries:

  • The USA: “The United States was founded in 1776 on the principles of life, liberty, and the reckless pursuit of happiness at any cost—even life and liberty.”
  • Japan: “In 1945, two atomic bombs were dropped on the nation of Japan, destroying entire cities and instantly killing millions of citizens. However, some survived, and from the radioactive ash rose a mutant race of super-submissive, ultra-vulnerable people able to feel 100 times the shame of any ordinary human.”
  • India: “Mired by rising poverty levels, polluted groundwater that threatens the lives of millions, and a rapidly crumbling infrastructure, the nation of India has every intention of addressing these problems just as soon as it finishes telling Midwesterners how to install Windows XP on their home computer.”
  • England: “For nearly 200 years, England ruled over 500 million people on six continents—a time in which it was commonly said that the sun never set on the British Empire. Today, however, the sun sets on the British Empire at precisely 5:47pm GMT.”
  • Italy: “Italy is known as one of the most racially intolerant nations in the world, where citizens base their opinions of other ethnicities on appearance and stereotypes alone. But then, what more do you expect from a bunch of greasy, filthy womanizers?”

More here.

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2 Responses to “Our dumb online atlas”

  1. Fish
    January 16, 2008 at 10:41 pm #

    The link is double http’d, love.

  2. Adam
    January 17, 2008 at 6:57 am #

    Thanks babe. it’s fixed now!