It gets cold here in Edmonton. Usually around the time January rolls around, we see a few days with abysmally cold temperatures. And on those days when the temperature falls below the -30 Celsius mark, I’m usually left astonished by two types of people who’ve been living in Edmonton for years.
“I can’t believe it’s so cold! I hate living here in the winter!”
Seriously, it’s often people who’ve lived in Edmonton all their lives who I hear throw down with complaints about the cold weather. And my response is always the same…
I like Edmonton. I like living in Edmonton. And believe it or not, the climate is part of the deal. Yes, it can get cold in the city, and you’ll even occasionally hear me exclaim “Holy balls, it’s cold out today!” But I don’t complain about the cold, because it’s just an accepted part of my lifestyle. I have winter clothes, I live in a region where it can get “Holy Balls” cold out. I deal with it, and go on with my life.
And I’m a total baby when it comes to discomfort. I complain when I stub my baby toe (which hurts like a bitch, and happens all too often for my liking.) What I’m saying is, if I’m a huge baby, and I can handle the cold… what does that make the people who complain?
I’ll tell you what that makes them. Pussies. Cold, shivering pussies.
It’s not like you have no other options. I know many people who migrate, bird-like, to the warmer climes of the U-S-of-A over the winter. You could also head to Vancouver and enjoy a slightly milder, wetter winter. If you’re going to complain, get out.
And seriously, if you’ve lived here more than five years, and you’re still shocked when it actually gets sub-arctic outside… you have no business living in… well, Canada.
“If I wear a coat, I won’t look good at the club!”
This is the second type of person who boggles my mind, and arguably they’re the worst of the two. I can put up with people complaining about the weather Edmonton gets every year, but willfully putting yourself in danger during the extreme cold takes the cake.
I can understand that you might not consider it practical to bring a coat clubbing because you don’t want to check it – possibly at multiple locations – or have it stolen. But that consideration is totally negated by the risk of frost-bite and hypothermia. You can literally freeze your ass off in less than two minutes when it gets under 30 in the wind.
When I drive down the street in my warmish car, Blue, with gloves and a heavy coat on, and I look out the window and see some idiot at the bus-stop in a thin hoodie and a pair of jeans, hands stuck in his pockets, shivering… I have no sympathy, and only rage. Seriously, asshole? What the hell made you think that was a good idea?
I’ve even seen girls in open toed shoes and skirts wearing totally inappropriate winter-wear on Friday or Saturday nights, scurrying to the club as fast as their high-heels will take them. Yes, ladies, those shoes are striking. Shame the price for wearing them could be a broken ankle due to ice, or the loss of your toes due to the wind-chill.
Again, no sympathy. If you’ve lived in Edmonton, you know the risks associated with our sometimes extreme winter weather. If you still can’t wrap your head around it, or wilfully ignore it, you deserve my scorn.
I actually really like the winter. I think it’s a lovely time of year, and I look forward to snowfall in the city of Edmonton, which looks as stunning with a layer of fresh snow and lit-up for the holidays, as it does with the trees in full bloom.
I’ve had arguments with people over which is better, extreme heat or extreme cold, and I’m firmly in the extreme cold camp. In the hottest summer weather, there’s only so much you can do to cool down, only so many layers you can shed, and often it still isn’t enough to stop from being uncomfortable. Conversely, there’s always more you can put on, always something you can do to warm up.
So, hop to it, fellow Edmontonians;
– Alberta Health Services has some helpful tips on keeping warm and safe in cold weather.
– Drive safe on the roads.
– Make sure Felix and Fido are cared for and safe.
– Buy yourself a quality snow shovel.
– Get yourself a stylish and comfortable winter jacket.
– Grab a cup of hot cocoa.
– Dust off the toboggan and hit the slopes.
– Bring a Food Bank donation to Candy Cane Lane. Walk it, don’t drive. It’s better, bring a cup of something hot, and enjoy.
– Spite the cold! Throw a B-B-Q party!
Don’t let the cold get you down, fellow Edmontonians! It’s a beautiful time of year.
Next Time: Books on Tape!