In last month’s edition of the Dawson Bridge Watch, I’d sent the city a list of questions… And they thought I was being a jerk. They thought I was being a jerk SO MUCH, that someone in the City of Edmonton traffic division on Twitter even referred to the content on this website as drivel. (His post to that effect has since been removed.) And though he may well have been correct, one thing is very very apparent:
I struck a nerve*.
And what happens less than a month following that post? They cover the bridge in a giant white tarp so we can’t see what’s happening inside. Kind of like cocoon, but much, much larger, sans old people, and without the witticisms of the now-washed-up Steve Guttenberg.
Well I had a theory involving robots… that has since been CONFIRMED by my own investigation.** You see, when I went to take these photos, there were all kinds of ungodly noises coming from the bridge. And while the City claims something else entirely is taking place…
But I’ve seen RoboCop. I’ve seen Terminator. I’ve seen Battlestar Galactica. And I know a robot when I hear one. And I heard several.
I’d like to think this is all part of the city’s new snow removal policy. I mean, you can’t really expect a bunch of trucks to handle the volume of work, can you? No, you need a team of highly-armed, highly-intelligent robots to make sure that there’s less than 5cms of coverage on residential roadways. And really, when you consider all the robots that’ll be required, $800,000 isn’t all that much money.
The question now is, why hide this from citizens? Why build them on the Dawson Bridge? Perhaps so they can work side-by-side with humans, and learn all about construction and such. Or maybe it’s so they can stage a river-valley assault on the good people of Edmonton. For what reason? We may never know…