The Unknown Studio

Last week, I heard from Twitter that Ed Hardy — the fashion choice of mouthbreathing bargoers and Jersey Shore watchers (and characters) — had a line of wines. The problem was they were only available in Calgary (at least as far as I could tell). Thankfully, the fantastic Lisa McRitchie — an Unknown Studio agent in the Shelbyville to Edmonton’s Springfield — was available to sample the latest and dare I say greatest from Ed Hardy. This is her story.

When I first heard that Christian Audigier — designer of Ed Hardy — was putting out a wine line of wines and actually calling it Ed Hardy, my first instinct was to Google Ed Hardy to see exactly what that was. I had a pretty good idea, but it’s not in my regular vocabulary or everyday life. As soon as I figured out what it was I ran to my nearest drugstore, loaded up on hair gel, covered myself in eagle and skull tattoos (temporary of course), grabbed my shiniest, tightest little shirt I could find and my good friend Lynda and headed out to the Inglewood Wine Shop in Calgary to pick up a bottle or two.

Imagine how delighted I was when I found that they were doing tastings in their front room; I wasn’t going to have to buy wine without tasting it. Excellent!

You know how when a friend asks you to try out a new recipe, and you recognize a flavour but you can’t quite put your finger on it? That is what drinking Ed Hardy wine is like.

There are three wines in this French line available for purchase in Calgary; a Rosé, Chardonnay and a Cabernet Sauvignon. No one knows for sure who the maker is at this point, but looking at the bottle, Christian Audigier definitely put his personal “style” into the labeling. Overall, this wine is middle of the road. It’s not bad, it’s not great, but if you can buy it on sale it’s a good bottle for starting your night out. It’s not for serving to your friends with discerning tastes. They’ll just make fun of you.

In case you’re still interested in giving these wines a taste, it’s probably due to sheer morbid curiosity — the same reason I sampled a few Paris Hilton perfumes. I’m even more embarrassed to admit that I liked one of them enough to buy a bottle. No, it’s not Paris’ scientific work that made the perfume. She just bought the product. Still, I feel wrong every time I use it.

Anyways, back to wine.

Ambrosia for Douchebags

The Rosé was quite dry for me — subtle, not sweet but not tart either; ultimately not amazing. The Chardonnay smells quite sweet, like a Riesling. The taste lingers on your tongue and in your mouth. This is where you start to really notice that something else has been added, but you don’t know what. It seemed like it was an extra sweetener, but it’s hard to tell. Being a red wine drinker I often find it hard to appreciate white wines, thankfully I had a white wine friend with me… although she wasn’t too fond of this one. For me the “something different” also seemed like something wrong.

Finally, we tried the Cabernet Sauvignon. Now here again you’re allowed to look down on me. I really didn’t mind this wine. If you can get it on sale it’s not a bad purchase. It’s not my favorite, but it was a different wine than I’ve ever had before. The Cab Sauv definitely tastes like something other than a regular wine should — there is definitely something else in this wine. What it is we may never know.

The flavour is “modern,” another easy drinking wine with a lingering taste. Again, this is not a wine to impress your friends with, well unless your friends look like they walked right off of Jersey Shore, then this just might be the ticket. If you just want to try it out, I think you’re like a lot of people and keep in mind that it’s a matter of physical taste, not an unfortunate wardrobe decision.

— Lisa McRitchie

Popularity: 21% [?]