Just when you thought that neither Scott C. Bourgeois nor myself could look any creepier or more lecherous than we already do, that famous mustache-growing month of Movember shows up to prove you — yes you! — wrong.

Scott did Movember last year, and this is my first year. I’m a Movember virgin. And having had a full beard for the last year and a half (and a propensity to obey the fucking rules, Gregg Beever, you cheating bastard), I have to tell you it was very difficult to take a knife to my face on Nov 1 and remove all the hair that once resided there.

But I’ve been at this thing for ten days. Ten.

And so has Scott.

And so has Mo Sistah Beth Quirie, who had the gumption and the sweet mustache love to launch a website in my name: The Mighty Mustache.

When you visit the site, you can throw a mustache on my stylized face to see what style will look the sweetest. AND! You can also donate directly to me.

But you should donate to Scott as well.

Mugging for mugs

Oh, and another thing. We have about six limited edition Unknown Studio mugs still available. So here’s the deal:

The next three people to donate to me, and to Scott, and include the phrase “Mo’ Mugs for Movember” in your donation message will get one of these mugs. Minimum donation to get a mug is $25 (you’ll also get a tax receipt!).

GET DONATING! To both of us!

An open letter to Gregg Beever or Calling out the Beev

Now, I’ve committed to competing with Gregg Beever, TheEdmontonian.com staff writer, in a Stache Off. The loser must donate $50 to the winner.

But Gregg’s cheating, as I alluded to before.

Rather than start fresh-faced on Nov 1, Gregg decided only to remove his residual facial hair to achieve his goal of growing a mustache worthy of Burt Reynolds. He is a bald-faced stupid-faced cheater.

And I will crush him. And IT. Where it = Movember. That’s a good thing.

OK, you can donate now.

creepy, lecherous, movember