A different kind of FML Friday

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The first rule of FML Friday is that you don’t talk about FML Friday. And the second rule of FML Friday is that if you really feel you have to talk about it, then you should complain about it as loudly as you can.

Writing these week after week can get, I don’t know, mundane. People complaining about how shitty their lives are gets old, especially the ones who really have nothing to complain about. So this week, I’m drawing my inspiration from a different well: spam comments that get held in the Unknown Studio’s spam trap.

Yup, we get a lot of comments here at the Unknown Studio. And most of them never see the light of day. Because they’re lies. But let’s pretend these are written by real human beings with a limited grasp of the English language, and see where that gets us.

How do you start your own blog?

Hey there! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it very hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Thanks

Well, full figured bridal gowns, I’m glad you asked! Starting a blog is hard. The first thing you need is an email address, and that shit’s hard to come by. Then you have to sign-up for a blogging service, which take, like, five minutes and is a huge pain in the ass. Trust me, it’s a lot of trouble.

But the effort doesn’t stop there. If you get past all of that, you need to make sure you have a sufficiently inflating sense of self-worth, because you’re going to be putting yourself out there and getting a lot of schlocky comments from random spammers named “full figured bridal gowns.”

I read because I love

My family members always say that I am wasting my time here at net, however I know I am getting know-how everyday by reading thes fastidious articles.

Wow, Yujiq Hollyp, I can’t believe that in spite of your entire family telling you this blog isn’t a worthwhile read, you’re sticking to it nonetheless. You, my androgynous friend, are a trooper.

I’m glad you think our articles are “very concerned about accuracy and detail.” Especially these FML Fridays. You wouldn’t believe the seconds of research I pore into every post. Because, really, it’s more like milliseconds.

Anyway, I appreciate you wasting your time here. But I’ll never approve your comments. Our readers have enough Viagra, thank you very much.

YouTube woes

The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

Hey, Harrison Colletta, 83 views is nothing to shake a stick at. You know that Essence of Edmonton video I made? As of this writing: only 46 views. My video clearly needed a falling iPhone to gain any kind of popularity.

Also, how old is your sister? She sounds like an inhuman monster. Who decides to experiment with an iPhone like that? Does she work for Google?

Anyway, thanks for sharing your dumb story with me, Harrison Coletta. I hope your work as a pornographer, which is what your name seems to suggest to me, is successful!

Image by AJ Cann on Flickr. Used under Creative Commons License.

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