Doing your homework on FML Friday

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I hated school when I was a kid. I couldn’t be bothered to do any kind of work. What I was most interested in was the scene. I wanted to hang out with my boys and meet girls. Socializing was the only homework I wanted assigned to me at school.

The FMLers below are somewhat the same, but just different enough that when I make fun of them, it doesn’t feel like I’m making fun of myself. Delightful, right?


No help at all

Today, I accused a student in my class of getting his dad to do his homework. It turns out that his dad died 2 years ago. FML

You broke the cardinal rule by singling out a specific parent. How could you have possibly assumed that it was this student’s dad that was helping him? You should have said, “Someone,” or, “Your parents.” You poor, poor fool.

So now this student has leverage over you, in a way. He should probably do his homework and such, but he can always hold the “my teacher is an insensitive prick” thing over your head.

Don’t worry — logic dictates you’ll get better at this. Even if it doesn’t even remotely seem that way right now.


Today, after a conference with my teacher who had previously accused me of not doing my homework, she finally discovered she’d been losing it all this time. I’ve been getting straight Fs for a month. FML

Well, hopefully that’s fixed now. And like the student above, you now have leverage over your teacher. AND a proper excuse for when you actually don’t hand something in. You can just safely assume that, since teacher was losing your homework for a whole month, she might lose one or two assignments over the next few months.

So kick back, relax and take advantage. LESSON OVER.

Spanish passion

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

Ah, Spanish. The language of love.

Or the language of withholding love, in your case.

You’re a sap, you know that? Sure, you were led to believe there would be sex, and clearly you’re jonesin’ for it. (Or in spanish “Jose-ing” for it.) What you should have done as soon as homework time started was gotten the eff out of there. You can always, ahem, satisfy yourself to keep things going.


Hasta luego!

Image by TJ Coffey on Flickr. Used under Creative Commons License.

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