A visit from the police on FML Friday

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To serve and protect, it says on the sides of the car. And yet, often people have nothing but bad things to say about the police. Not unlike these poor bastards below. Their police experiences were less than wholesome. That’ll teach them to be on the wrong — or at least, not the right — side of the law.

Poor, poor fuckers.

Forced adoption

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, “Hey, mum”. I’m only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

Ah kids! They’re so tricksy. Like those little Hobbitses. And the Precious!

But it isn’t like you’re being forced to enact some messed up scene from a bad sitcom. You can basically say, “Officer, I’m 26 years old and I have no fucking clue who this little shit is. Can you please get him off me before I file charges of some sort?” Bam. Done.

Now stop feeling sorry for yourself.


Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

So in his own way, this cop was re-enacting that scene from Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo frantically shouts, “Get off the road!”? Cool.

I know it sucks, though. Ben Parker once told his nephew Peter that with great power comes great responsibility. What he didn’t tell Peter was that sometimes if you fuck with the police, they’ll fuck you right back. Is it fair? Nope. It’s reality.

Now stop whining. You make me sick.

Police dad

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They’d come to get my ex-girlfriend’s things and said they were “watching me.” That’s the last time I date a cop’s daughter. FML

Sounds like this dad-cop is as protective of his daughter as Lord Elrond is of Lady Arwen. But unlike Isildur’s heir, you my friend are no king.

It is kind of weird, though, that this dad-cop would abuse his power so thoroughly by sending two uniforms to your door. I wonder what the equivalent value of their time is in taxpayer dollars. Maybe ask your local town representative… if you’re really ready to take on dad-cop.

Now get the fuck out of here; I’m watching my stories!

Image by Ruin Raider on Flickr. Used under Creative Commons License.

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