Celebrating Catholicism on FML Friday

The religious and secular world is abuzz with papal news. Seriously, you’d think the Stanley Cup was happening. Not since the last Pope was elected by Jesus himself have we seen so much coverage of the Catholic religion. And this week’s FML Friday honors Catholics — well, features them, anyhow — because let’s face it: the Pope. Am I right? Honestly, Catholics are great sports. So let’s take a look at how FMLers perceive them.

Forced

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which “the Force” is superior. FML

Well, your brother has a point. I mean, I’ve never seen a Catholic choke someone with their mind. That’s pretty cool, even though it probably violates a commandment or something. In fact, I think most Force moves would probably violate commandments. Especially “Thou shalt not steal… someone’s sandwich using the Force.”

Denuded

Today, I was presenting a powerpoint. As I plugged in the cord that connected my computer to the projector, I had forgotten what my boyfriend had set my desktop picture to the night before. I opened my laptop and projected on the wall was me nude. I go to Catholic school. FML

While nudity is a sin in the Catholic religion, unless it’s a state you’re in for the expres purposes of procreation — and hey, I should know. I was raised Catholic after all — it’s not the end of the world. Unless when you’re a boy with a boyfriend. Then, according to some Catholic interpretations of the Bible, it actually is the end of the world.

Religioned

Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She’s Jewish and I’m Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with “And you can find a nice Jewish boy there while you’re there.” FML

I wouldn’t worry about it. All Jewish parents want their kids to marry nice Jewish boys and girls. But they’re usually pretty cool if their kids wind up with someone from another religion (or someone without religion). They just want a fully Jewish family because everyone knows Jewish parties are the best, and they don’t want to always be the ones hosting them.

Image by malouette on Flickr. Used under Creative Commons License.

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