The Unknown Studio

Last week, I reminded you of just how lazy I am. I even got Unknown Studio readers Jeff, Jen and Lilwall to write FMLs for me. Lilwall got really excited and wrote three. I figured I’d save the two I didn’t use for a post sometime in the future when I didn’t really have the time to come up with my own.

THAT DAY HAS ARRIVED.

So on top of my own contribution, we have two more from the overworked Lilwall, whose insights into the lives of these FMLers far exceeds my own. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 18% [?]

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a busy guy… a busy guy with a huge procrastination problem. In order to ensure that problem doesn’t get out of control, I’ve mastered the time-honoured skill of passing the buck. Which brings us to this week’s edition of FML Friday…

Oh sure, I put it off again. But rather than suffer through having to write clever responses to stupid FMLs (which, now that I think about it, is kinda like “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” in MAD Magazine), I’ve enlisted the help of the Twitter hive mind. Unknown Studio pals Jeff, Jen and Lilwall provide answers to what ails you in this week’s edition of me passing the buck. Enjoy and have a great weekend! Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 17% [?]

Well, kids, we’ve made it. Friday has arrived, and she really couldn’t have come soon enough. Clichés like “it’s been one of those weeks” come to mind. And even though we asked Friday if she could hurry along, and maybe bump Wednesday — because we honestly didn’t think we would be able to make it this far — Friday failed to heed our request, as she so often does.

Our only solace is our high-and-might attitudes, particularly when it comes to the mouth-breathing dinks who frequent the FMyLife.com website. It’s time to give these douchebags what-for. Why? Because it’s the right thing to do. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 17% [?]

It’s another rainy Friday here is the City of Champions. And though the weather might have you down, your emotional salvation lies in taking easy digs at the chumps lousy enough to post their absurd woes at FMyLife.com.

I mean, you think you have it bad? You’ve got nothing on the guy whose dog shat on him, or the woman who was crushed by a television set… Actually, both of those people totally deserved it (as I’m certain you’ll agree). The dude who didn’t deserve what he got, though, was the man who wound up with a face full of spiders.

I know, right? Just read on for the gory details. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 19% [?]

The Friday before a long weekend is always tough. No one wants to be at work — in fact, some people take this Friday off. Like everyone in my office. But I’m not going to leave you, dear reader. I wouldn’t dream of it. Because I’m a robot and robots don’t dream.

Besides, if I’m not here to hook you up with your weekly dose of “hate-tanking” as my good pal Sally might say, then what good am I? I’ll tell you what good I am: not good at all.

So, instead of jamming out on you early this long weekend, I bring you what you’ve waited for all week: some FML Friday action. Read the rest of this entry »

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It’s fair to say that over the last few months, reading these FMLs every week, I’ve become something of a seasoned vet. I know when an FML has been embellished. I know when it’s outright fabrication, and I know — beyond a shadow of a doubt — when it’s time for an FML author to “ditch” the subject of their complaint.

Like today.

We have three people, with three people in their lives who are utter idiots. Who take away from, rather than enrich, the lives of the authors. So while my approach to each entry will vary, the advice will ultimately be the same (which I realize spoils some of the tension I’m trying to build up).

And that advice is to ditch ‘em.

A-like so Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 21% [?]